Thirty Oxford students hurt in May Day leap into shallow river:

"As 8,500 students gathered on the bridge to listen to the traditional dawn choir, more than 100 people, some still wearing formal ball gowns and dinner jackets from the previous evening's May Ball, clambered over the fencing,

But most were unaware that the Cherwell, after an unusually dry spring, was just 3ft deep.

While paramedics treated some students at the scene for minor injuries, 10 were taken to hospital with spinal injuries, broken legs, ankles and ribs.

One man had a serious back injury after another jumped on top of him and a Russian woman was impaled on the 6ft fence."

Oh, you daft apeths. "Toller was later seen propositioning the Russian lady, claiming that '6ft is nothing'."