Burgeoning Ego: February 2004

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

frank sidebottom

If no-one else remembers this complete and utter mook, you reiterate my theory (purloined by that Rousseau feller) that ignorance is bliss. Frank was a fan of a band called the Freshies, though he achieved much more fame than they ever did, due to his enomrous paper maché head, puppet sidekick 'little Frank', and selection of godawful songs, mainly about his hometown Timperley (which I've been listening to recently - god, he's got less talent than a robbed Persian.) I only remember him because he used to appear in the pages of a comic called Oink I read as a kid (which strangely Lard of Mark and Lard fame used to write for.) Take this page as a warning; avoid this man, and if you meet Chris Sievey, run a mile, run back, hit his paper maché head and repeat...

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Ananova - News - Phenomena

Depending on your viewpoint, this'll make you to sick to your very soul at the absolute credulity of the mass of humanity, or verify your beliefs in an afterlife populated by aliens, the virgin Mary and Elvis. I'd like to emphasise there is not a jot of reasonable ground between these two stances.

So I will.

There is not a jot of reasonable ground between these two stances. There.

Extra kidneys give hard-drinking brothers the edge

Toll, might be wise to start buttering these guys up toot sweet... ;)

Monday, February 23, 2004

More colour from our over-educated chum, Toller

liked the robot satire, just a little less heavy and they'd get away with it
like this
I heard that months before the Blair Witch Project the producers planted
some stories in lots of local american papers with essentially the same
storyline. Like the stealth advert for "Lucky Strike" which was actually
selling a bmw or summit. Also, the washing powder "radion" (bright orange
box) was originally developed by, i think, persil to repel people and
so boost the logical opposite, which they thought persil was, only
people were too dumb and bought it anyway.
I'm having big girl trouble at the moment with an ex. You know since i reject
theism for being illogical and inconsistent, for me to be consistent I would
also need to reject any emotional behaviour on my part. Fuck, that would
mean beer too. Right I'm going to church. Problem solved. I think I may have
ranted at you about this before.
tolk
P.S. did i ever tell you my theory that the smurfs are an ironic attack
on the kkk - white hats, leader wears red, attack evil voodoo guy wearing
black, gang-bang girls...also the blue skin and the high voices...?

"Feb 23 1942

The first Japanese attack on the U.S. mainland occurs when an I-17 submarine fires 13 shells at an oil refinery near Goleta, Southern California. $500 damage was inflicted. It was not clear why this target was chosen until much later, when it was found that the commander of this particular submarine had visited the site in the 1930's and stumbled into a field of prickly pear cactus. Captain Nishino never forgave the ridicule he received from his American hosts that day."

A secret report, suppressed by US defence chiefs and obtained by The Observer, warns that major European cities will be sunk beneath rising seas as Britain is plunged into a 'Siberian' climate by 2020. Nuclear conflict, mega-droughts, famine and widespread rioting will erupt across the world.

Missive from Toller, stuck in Oxford endlessly researching people's brains:

Hullo dude.
I went on a course.
A personal skills development course.
Teaching networking, teamwork, and career-structuring, for a week, as part of our PhD transferable-skills program.
CUNTING FUCKERS BASTARD WANKERS NAUSEA-INDUCING HITLERITE COWRAPING FUCKERS.
Full of this management consultancy bullshit, because obviously there are 16 different discrete sorts of people. Obviously. May seem strange considering the last 50 years of psychological research, not to mention the vast complexity of the genetic and environmental factors known to underpin the mind, but no, Sixteen. 16. Count 'em. There you go. HAHA!!! Shminky! Felp-niggle.